Winning Arguments vs. Winning People

"Father God, please guide me as I write this article based on Your Word. Help me to write this to glorify You, and let Your words bring clarity to those who seek You. May Your truth help people discern and embrace correct beliefs. I pray and seek everything in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen."

Hi there my Brothers and Sisters in Christ! I have always been passionate about sharing the Gospel, driven by a deep desire to see others come to know the love of Christ. This fervor, however, often led me to lose good friends. My zeal to convince others of my faith sometimes resulted in heated arguments and strained relationships. I felt an overwhelming urge to make others see the truth as I saw it. But God, in His wisdom and grace, has been working on my heart, transforming my approach. Now, even when opportunities arise, I choose to share my personal experience with God and allow the other person to form their own opinions. The urge to "win" the argument is gone. I believe that God uses me in His own way, and that assurance gives me peace. Knowing that I have done my part, I can rest in the belief that God will do the rest.

Diving in

In our quest to share the Gospel and defend our faith, it can be easy to fall into the trap of wanting to win arguments. However, God has been teaching me that winning people is far more important than winning arguments. He has been impressing upon my heart that it is okay to lose an argument, to say, "You could be right, and I could be wrong." The pride within us often prevents us from pursuing and connecting with others. When we work for God's kingdom, it is okay to lose arguments because our goal is not to win debates but to win hearts.

The Danger of Winning Arguments

When engaging in discussions about faith, especially with those who hold different beliefs, it is easy to become defensive and argumentative. This can lead to a hardened heart, both in ourselves and in the person we are speaking with. The Bible warns us about the dangers of pride and contentious behaviour. Proverbs 13:10 says, "Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." Our pride can create barriers that prevent meaningful dialogue and understanding.

Imagine having a discussion with a friend who has a different faith or opinion about God. Without common ground, the conversation can quickly escalate into an argument. Often, this results in each party walking away with their positions hardened, saying, "Let me have my faith, and you have yours." In such scenarios, we inadvertently do the enemy’s work by fostering division and hardening hearts, which is exactly the opposite of what God desires from us.

The Example of Jesus’ Humility

Jesus exemplified humility in His interactions with others. Philippians 2:5-8 instructs us, "In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!"

Jesus, though fully God, chose to humble Himself and serve others. He did not seek to win arguments but to win hearts. When faced with opposition, He responded with grace and love. For example, in John 4, Jesus speaks with the Samaritan woman at the well. Instead of arguing about religious differences, He gently reveals His identity as the Messiah, leading her to believe and share the Good News with her community.

Humility Over Eloquence

God does not seek eloquent speakers but humble hearts willing to do His bidding. In 1 Corinthians 1:26-29, Paul reminds us, "Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him."

God often chooses those who seem unqualified by worldly standards to carry out His work. It is not our eloquence or ability to win arguments that matters, but our willingness to serve with humility. By being humble, we allow unbelievers to see the consistency and logic in our faith through our actions and attitudes. It all starts with putting ourselves in their shoes.

Empathy and Understanding

To effectively share the Gospel, we must approach others with empathy and understanding. Imagine someone coming to you and saying, "Your faith is wrong." It would be natural to feel offended and to harden your heart against anything that person has to say. In the same way, when we approach others with an argumentative spirit, we close the door to meaningful dialogue and relationship-building.

James 1:19-20 advises, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." By listening more and speaking less, we open the door to understanding and connection.

Winning Hearts for God's Kingdom

Winning hearts is ultimately God's work. We are called to live in a way that reflects Christ’s love and humility, showing others through our actions that Christians are different. 1 Peter 2:12 encourages us, "Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us."

God does not need heroes; He needs servants. Our role is to be humble and faithful, allowing God to work through us to reach others. God qualifies the chosen, equipping us with what we need to fulfil His purposes. 2 Corinthians 3:5 reminds us, "Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God."

Wrapping up

In conclusion, the importance of winning people over winning arguments cannot be overstated. God calls us to approach others with humility and love, prioritizing relationships over debates. By being willing to lose an argument, we open the door to winning hearts and advancing God’s kingdom. Let us follow the example of Jesus, who humbled Himself and served others, and trust that God will work through our humble efforts to bring others to Him. Our goal is not to be heroes of the faith but humble servants who reflect Christ’s love in all we do.

In my journey of sharing the Gospel, I have learned that it is far more important to win people than to win arguments. God has shown me that it is okay to lose an argument, to humbly accept that others may have different opinions. This approach, rooted in humility and love, reflects the heart of Christ and fosters meaningful relationships and conversations. Winning hearts is God’s work; our role is to live as humble servants, demonstrating through our actions that Christians are different. I now find peace in knowing that I have done what I am called to do, trusting that God will use my humble efforts to draw others to Him. Let us remember that God does not need eloquent speakers, but humble hearts willing to serve and reflect His love. By embracing humility and focusing on winning people, we align ourselves with God's greater purpose and allow His love to shine through us.