Being Judgemental

"Father God, please guide me as I write this article based on Your Word. Help me to write this to glorify You, and let Your words bring clarity to those who seek You. May Your truth help people discern and embrace correct beliefs. I pray and seek everything in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen."

Hi there my Brothers and Sisters in Christ! For years, I struggled with a judgemental spirit towards others. I would look at people's appearances, behaviours, and choices and quickly jump to conclusions about their character, motives, and standing before God. Little did I realize how toxic and damaging this tendency was – not just for my relationships, but for my own walk with Christ.

The truth is, being judgmental prevented me from loving others the way Jesus commands. 1 John 4:20 says "If someone says, 'I love God,' but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we have not seen?"

My judgmental attitudes were springing from a well of pride, self-righteousness, and self-centredness in my heart. I was so focused on appearing holy and blameless myself that I failed to see my own mountain of sin before God (Matthew 7:3-5). I looked at the speck in my brother's eye while ignoring the plank in my own.

God's Word is clear that we are not to judge others' motives, consciences, or eternal destinies – that judgment belongs to Christ alone (Romans 14:4, 1 Corinthians 4:5). Jesus rebuked the religious leaders for judging by mere human standards and outward appearances (John 7:24). He calls us instead to "stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly" (John 7:24).

It's important to distinguish being judgmental from using wise, Biblical discernment. We are called to discern truth from error, righteousness from sin (1 Thessalonians 5:21-22). But discernment should be based on Scripture, not our personal opinions or self-righteous standards. And even when discerning error, we must respond with grace, patience, and a heart to restore, not condemn (Galatians 6:1).

Being judgmental arises from a prideful heart that believes it has all the facts and the moral authority to render a verdict on someone's life. But the truth is, only God can see the full reality of a person's heart and circumstances (1 Samuel 16:7). To overcome judgmentalism, I had to learn humility – considering others as more important than myself and looking out for their interests, not just my own (Philippians 2:3-4).

I also had to learn to extend the same grace, mercy, and patience to others that God extends to me daily. Despite my flaws and failures, God is "merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness" (Exodus 34:6). Who am I to withhold that same compassion from fellow strugglers on the journey of faith? As I learned to see myself rightly before God as a hopeless sinner saved by sheer grace, it became far easier to have grace for others' faults and weaknesses.

Being judgmental also blinded me to opportunities to show Christ's love and share the gospel. I was so focused on mentally condemning people that I failed to see their human brokenness, pain, and deep spiritual needs. The religious leaders of Jesus' day did the same thing, completely missing their Messiah because they were so fixated on judging him according to their own standards (John 8:15). No wonder Jesus said "Healthy people don't need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call sinners, not those who think they are already good enough" (Mark 2:17).

So what are some practical ways to combat being judgmental? Here are a few insights that have helped me:

1. Pray for humility and love daily. Ask God to continually expose the sin and selfishness in your own heart so you can relate to others in true humility.

2. When you start to judge someone, pause and remind yourself that you have only a tiny glimpse into their reality and struggles. Extend the benefit of the doubt.

3. Focus on how you can show Christ's love and grace, not on scrutinizing behaviors you deem unacceptable. Look for opportunities to minister, not criticize.

4. Be quick to examine your own heart and motives before God. Am I really concerned about this person's spiritual well-being, or am I just wanting to feel superior?

5. Fill your mind with Scripture's teachings on mercy, grace, humility, and loving others. Let verses like Romans 2:1 sink in: "You then have no excuse, you who judge someone else, for when you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things" (Romans 2:1).

As Jesus said, we must learn to be "as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves" (Matthew 10:16). Like Him, we must absolutely exercise godly discernment and discretion – but all while exemplifying the humble, grace-filled, loving character of our Lord who welcomes all who would come to Him for redemption.

Being judgmental was poisoning my witness and walk with Christ. It took retraining my mind and heart with humility, compassion, and extravagant grace for me to truly love others as Jesus commands. I'm still learning every day what it means to "make allowance for one another's faults" and "clothe myself with patience" (Colossians 3:12-13). But by God's grace, I'm walking in greater freedom to see others through His merciful eyes and perspective. Not as threats to judge, but as souls to love.